“Agreements” is a foundational language tool for a leader. At a personal level, agreements hold our relationships together. We carry cultural agreements into conversations, which bound our behaviour and the topics we will address. As we talk and negotiate each other’s personal boundaries, we refine the rules. Small reactions tell us what will and will not keep the relationship good. Agreements emerge over time and create a pattern for our conversations. Sometimes the emergent agreements are unhelpful to either party. In such cases, a strong leader is able to name the dysfunctional social contract and request a joint exploration about what would be a constructive agreement; one that changes things for the better.