Psychological closure occurs as a result of gathering fragmented memories which impinge on our present experience and consigning them to long term memory.  Pulling the shattered elements together takes patience and emotional courage.  When we eventually make acceptable meaning of a past event, it complete. Forgiveness and responsibility are two of the most effective forms of meaning for creating closure.

 As we talk and negotiate each other’s personal boundaries, we refine the rules. Agreements emerge over time and create a pattern for our conversations.  Sometimes the emergent agreements are unhelpful to either party.  In such cases, a strong leader is able to name the dysfunctional social contract and request a joint exploration about what would be a constructive agreement; one that changes things for the better.

Have you considered that how you see the world is not how it actually is? Research says there's a huge gulf between what's happening out there versus what we actually perceive. Out of billions of data points we receive, we pick the three, four, five, six that makes sense to us. How do you perceive things? How does your perceived view of the world affect the team around you?

Dualism is a gift from the Greeks that splits the world into two different camps. This is useful for simplifying thought processes. However, between the black and white thinking it creates, there is a vast sea of grey in between. To match thought and experience, these grey areas need to be explored. How do you split your world? How does this affect the way you see and interact with the people around you?

Entering a culture (family, national, religious, vocational) we are required to adapt.  This means sorting our character into traits that will do well in the culture and those that need to be hidden.  Because the expressed qualities are a source of pride, the suppressed parts are dualised as sources of shame.  They reside in a denied, ignored, neglected part of the psyche called the shadow. 

A racket is a complaint, which justifies associated negative behaviour to get a relational advantage (pay-off). It is damaging to relationships in the long run. The racket is activated by a perceived assault on an emotional vulnerability, which the racketeer is unwilling to examine.  Instead, they create a complaint, which is skewed to support the use of a defence (or ersatz) emotion. This is a more bearable emotion and becomes loaded with devices to generate relational benefits. 

In the same way that shadow is generated by the idealised ego image of an individual, it can also be created by the brand or values of an organisation. A group’s pride position, which denies the shadow side of their culture, engage in what Jung called, the collective consciousness. This is the “lowest form” of gathering, with all the little egos defending themselves by purporting received beliefs and virtue-signalling in a “hollow togetherness.”